“blood does not a fetus make!”

August 28, 2006

OK OK, very different from my superserious self-righteous posts, I know. But I felt the need to share this beautiful story.

The NYSun reported on August 25th:

A report that a fetus had been found at a Queens golf course triggered a multi-agency search for the mother yesterday — a search that ended when officials determined that the discovery was in fact a sanitary napkin.

Seriously, how in the world could a pad look like a fetus? Hello? Gothamist writes: “Chalk this one up to watching a little too much Law & Order: Special Victims Unit!” Totally. I love SVU, by the way.

Wait, wait, it gets better. Where was this mysterious “fetus” found? A garbage dump, perhaps? A deserted area?

The discovery was initially reported by a golfer who was suspicious of something she found in the restroom, a spokeswoman for the Parks Department said. “Everyone thought it was a fetus,” a course employee said.

So it was found in a bathroom, by a woman? You’re kidding, right? Priceless and also totally depressing.

Thanks to Gothamist for this nugget of news.



  1. it’s funny, the same thing happened in my bathroom last week. maybe it’s some kind of new pad they just put out on the market?

  2. are you *kidding* me?! this is the most insane thing i’ve heard in a while – weeks, maybe. hey man, i love SVU too, but mistaking a pad for a fetus? i don’t think that storyline would even go “full term” to full episodehood.

  3. J-you should stop hanging out at the golf course. See what it does to you? Next thing you know, tampons will be mistaken for bloody crosses. Or something.
    S-Completely insane, but would definitely make a fantastic parody episode of SVU. I’m imagining a very witty SNL skit.

  4. […] the story about the “fetus” that was found at a golf course in Queens (which later turned out to be a maxi pad)? This story trumps that one, I think. On many […]

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